A new crossroads

so this place is somewhere i find myself it seems when seasons are changing. maybe its the sleep deprivation, maybe its that i am ready for something better, maybe i am just not about to let my fear lead me.

maybe it is a little of all of that

so i am trying to figure out what i want the next 5 years to look like. i know what i want to do with my life - so what am i going to do to get it there?

this is what i am looking at and would be more than happy to hear any input as to what you think what you hear it. doesnt mean i have to take your advice but i would like as much input and thought going into this as to best set myself up.

here is what i am thinking:

i want a degree in nutrition/dietetics/wellness. yes that is one degree and there is something a little fancier but i cant think of what it is right now. its a bachelors and i am not sure what will transfer. i have 30 credit hours just from GRCC and then i dont know if anything from Massage would even be considered. so i could maybe finish it out in about 2-3 years. so theres a couple of years devoted to said plan. theres more to this. so where? there are a lot of good schools that have this program but they are not in NC - which is where i was planning on moving to this fall to live at la casa de Robles and go to school. not really possible if i want this degree to be a reality. i still miss my sister and her family a great deal so i am looking at other possibilites. like how to finance this plan and still be able to get residency somewhere in a way that i can maximize where ever possible. so i am thinking i also want to be a personal trainer - i think that this one would be a ton of fun and something i find myself naturally drawn too (especially with a massage background) and have wanted to do somewhere down the line that would help with the nutrition degree as a whole outlook to wellness. this would also be a place where i could start looking at getting clients and network and start getting my name known. not in the south because they apparently arent fully all into that sort of health like i am looking to be but it would also get me a good basis to be at least known with a gym that i could transfer and all this to say maybe i take this opportunity in the fall and that way i could establish residency for the degree and have a way to pay for my school. now this still only gets me 3 years down....

have a few more things in mind

after i get this degree i want to be an apprentice with a company called Culture ROI. i love the work they do and I want to take that into the medical world. i want to be the in the top of what im going to do - i want people to know my name and companies to search me out because of the skillz im going to have and already have. so maybe thats it - that i already have the first 3 years planned and now i have to move onto the years after that.

but also the where - where do i want to go to school? i want it to be in a place where gyms are like gyms and they are big and beautiful and people are really becoming health conscious. i know that part of the reason i am thinking Virginia is because i have been here for a few weeks and just love being out here. but at the same time where would i live? where would i work??

how detailed does this plan have to be - because i kinda see myself getting married sometime decently soon as well - i want that to be in the next 5 years...

so now what - thoughts?? ideas??

i have been blessed beyond measure. so much so that many of the blessings i have a tendency to question them and see if they are real. this is something that in the past i have dealt with on many occasions is this doubt of if what i find to be real is indeed rule. things like friendships. thats always been a big one for me. the reason i am posting about this now is because i find something a friend told me to be so true and on the brink of something great that i wanted to share it with the masses. the person - not sure if she wants to be named or not but she asked me what i am on the edge of - where am i about to enter into unchartered territory or on the edge of something great that the devil wants to take me out by bringing this in and on full force because i let it do that in the past. but no longer - i am stepping in more and more into what i believe to be try about myself - my friends - my faith - everything. i am rising to the challenge of my life. how about you? will you take the stand? will you take on the challenge that is your life? Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

a return to love - marianne williamson

If not us than who?

the following is a paper that i wrote for my sociology class. it gives a slight background into what we are studying this week, we right these papers in response to a topic in the book that we want to summarize and then take a little further. last week i wrote about human trafficking and drug cartels...this is what i came up with this week. feel free to leave your input. its just a good realization and reminder that we are not the only people on this planet.

If not us, than who?

In chapters 8 and 9 it covers mainly different perspectives of stratification. It starts out talking about it on a closer level and how it shows up in the United States in classes such as the capitalist class, managerial class, small business class, and the working class as outlined by Erik Wright (Kendall, 259). The book then steps back and looks at it from a global view in chapter 9 (Kendall, 282).

These chapters present a deeper look into wealth and poverty in the world and how it differs in a whole as well as in nations. One of the main things that stepped out is the presence of absolute poverty (Kendall, 269). It is defined as a level of economic depravation that exists when people do not have the means to secure the most basic necessities of life. This can show up as being able to provide food for a family and clean water but also other things that would lead to a better quality of life such as housing, education, safety, and health. When these necessities are not met there is a decrease in life expectancy, an increase in crime, gaps in human development, decline in health…just to list a few.

The part of this that makes this difficult topic even more harsh and shocking is the persistent extremes that are present not in just global inequality but even in close quarters. This is something that was made aware to me a few years ago when my family went to Brazil and we could be in a lovely section of town that was secure, on the forefronts of medical education, and just a tropical paradise to be in and we were able to walk a short distance and be in the middle of slums and junkyards in a moment. This was also presented to me more recent when a good friend of mine went on a trip to South Africa. The stories that she could tell about how in view, just across a high way there was such a difference in quality of life. On one side there could be boutiques, colleges, and what we perceive to be rights for a human and then within a stones throw she saw a little girl digging through trash trying to find food where in a pile of garbage where she had also used the bathroom. The fears of these children are also hard to take in as their biggest fears could be kept out if they had basic shelter that even we considered to be less than acceptable could be well above a luxury. My friend was talking about how these people have so little but they are not even aware of how little they have compared to their neighbors or to other people in the world where there is an over abundance of clothing, water, food, and shelter.

Here in the United States we take for granted how far above others we are in a grand social class. Even on the days where we feel like we might be on the low run of our societies and see others that have things we desire and long for we are still beyond blessed to have basic needs. We do not fear of animals coming and taking us or those around us as they do in South Africa, we do not spend much time worrying about getting infections that we will not be able to clean and recover from just to name a few differences.

Global stratifications is present in the world. We are not all on the same level of incomes but we are all human. We just have different qualities, traits, and locations on the planet. We should strive to make it so that people have those basic needs met. If we were to look past ourselves and to those in need around us we could eliminate things like poverty and have a safe environment for people that included drinking water, food, and basic education. Yet we spend so much time trying to make a name for ourselves and climb social ranks other than helping out someone have their most basic necessities and needs met.

Update about Christmas 2.0

WAS AMAZING!?!

have no idea how else to describe it. it was quite possibly the best vacation i have ever had. to be around friends and just to love and be loved for almost a week straight without having to worry about school or anything of that sort. to relax and take a deep breath not worrying about due dates or what comes next but to rather be able to focus in on the here and now. - glorious-

getting on that plane to come home was one of the hardest things i ever did. if i was on my way to either my sisters it would have made it easier but i dont know. where am i going next. i can barely tell where i have been or what i really want right now. but its so confusing. i miss my sisters terribly and yet i love my friends oh so much as well...blah!

of to the super bowl...can i get a da do super bowl!?!?! =)

love to all!

Grace

So in the last little while the word grace has come up time and time again. Today though was different on so many levels... Church today was good, worship, message, community, yeah, good (not to mention I got a moment to talk to a friend I have been missing for over a year! Seriously people stop moving far far away!). When I got home I was filled with optimism for what the day was going to hold with festivities with friends, getting some cleaning done, setting up for the rest of the week, and studying for the upcoming exams I have this week. But when my parents came home my first interaction with them at all was one of them coming downstairs and getting mad at me. No hi or even acknowledging that I exist. The conversation that unfolded was about rules. The world is full of them and that it is my job to follow them. EVERYTHING is rules or ruled. I see how much in my life I don't want that. Like quoted in a movie when pirates are asked about sticking to the code they state, "Well they are more like guidelines." That is the way I see life as well as Christianity. While there are things that you should and shouldn't do there is also something greater than we - Grace. When this is coming out in my own life I see how much grace the world needs. How much I need and how much I need to extend it to those around me. Stick with me friends. I continue this journey not knowing what will come next. But I am learning. Grace, Love, ktb

wow, 2 posts in one month, be impressed

ah - Christmas official is done. Christmas 2.0 however starts monday!!!?!?!?

also - uber cuteness that is the newest little baby niece arrived on the 24th - best Christmas gift ever? gotta be pretty dang close.

anyways - tonight i shoveled the driveway - twice. Christmas had no snow, it seriously rained, and tonight it snowed a few inches in a matter of an hour. it was glorious cause the second time i shoveled the driveway and then some was awesome. this has to be one of the greatest times of year, seriously not great about the snow but the stillness - love it. (future boyfriends take note) i love just being outside and walking around. its still, calm, and snow falling, glorious. it something that doesnt happen the same way in the summer but there is also the greatness of a campfire.

ahh - love it...now off to have the same weather but in a new place - WOOt WOOt!!!

free time - for a limited time only

as promised - here is an update.

its official. today was the first day of my holiday vacation, finals round one done!

that means that next semester is looming and i don't have classes finalized for next semester. but it will work out. it always does!

not sure what classes im going to take next semester, i dont really want to take something with a lab because that feels like 2 classes then but i dont know, i would love to be in an anatomy physiology class again, plus cc has some great cadavers.

anyways - im also excited cause now i have this thing, its called free time. it might not be around for way long because i am going to be taking classes again but i cant freaking wait to go running again and not feel like i should be studying instead. and my shin is healed enough that it doesnt hurt to run! yippie! might even start up yoga again, oh how i have missed my yoga.

lets see here - did another breakthrough the other weekend...amazing. love that work. so much can happen and open up for people that they didnt think possible. i also realize after hearing its my life by bon jovi for those few days thinking more and more about how we dont know how much time we have left so we might as well live it up. one could say its now or never - i aint gonna live forever, but i just want to live while im alive... i have always tried to live that way though, thats why it is so hard for me to stay put. i would rather go live with my sister and just love people. not go to class, but then i also wouldnt be making money or using the gifts that i have and my desire to help people.

yes this post is super random, im on vacation - you will survive.

hmmm, what else - baby thomas is almost done playing with julies internal organs so hopefully she will come visit us out here in the real world soon. i miss my sister jenny too,(and rich) cause its hard to go there over thanksgiving and then not go there for Christmas. oh well, i will go visit again soon i hope!

i do get to hang out with my parents on Christmas, kim l, right after that, then some pretty awesome baltimore people after that. good times in the near future? i think so.

well now that im on vacation maybe ill come up with something else soon thats worth posting about. you might all be finding out more about my class schedule than you ever thought possible!

love to all!

- lobby