once again

its interesting. i typically pride myself on being a quick learner and can adapt to many things easily. but when it comes to the topic of home i fail miserably time and time again.

last night i was sitting up at like 11:30 with a friend and how the last few weeks have done nothing but leave me incredibly exhausted. im over working myself and pushing my body past limits. all in hopes of being happier and more satisfied when i do have that time off. but when i have a few moments are i feel more lost than ever. fml. along with that is such a disconnect to the emotional home. let me show you a little of what home means to me. a place where acceptance and love flow in a feast like manor. where people are excited to see you and hear about what is going to be going on in your life for the next few days, months, years...etc. and where you go to drink up the goodness of those around you. home to me is kind of like a revolving community i guess you could say. a place of peace and where your soul can find some rest.

thinking more and more there are really only 2 places that i can fully embrace this. one is a dear friend who i love very very much and am greatful for everything she and her family have done for me. the other is at my sister's house. one sister moves around to much and im not even sure if those places feel like home to her or just a vacation house. but its odd because i havent felt it at my parents house for a long time. at times i feel hints of it and at other times i feel like i might as well be staying in a hostel...

so there you have it. thats what is on in my life right now.

also ive decided that im going to western this next semester...anyone want to help support a college student?? hehehe